Mister Natalie

I told myself I’d wait longer to write another post since I’m doing this too frequently I feel. My preference would be every other week or something like that. But I’ve been musing on something for a while now, and have still not reached a definite conclusion. However, I did have a small realization which resulted in me being gripped by laughter for a solid five minutes.

Got my AAA card in, and it said “Ms.” before my name. Because Natalie is a woman’s name, and everyone will assume that I am a woman. I’m trying to re-affirm myself as male, at least in some form or fashion (well, fashion-wise I’ve just been getting weirder). Presumably this means I need to change my name to something less associated with women, like Nat. Which is what most people call me anyway, and is how I introduce myself now (often to the confusion of other people).

Yet, I like my name. It has personal meaning to me, both on its own as well as in the context of the full name. My previous name was all sharp edges, phonetically speaking, and I prefer the softer flow which most often comes with names that are coded female. The other possibility that occurred to me was to make a point of having a “Mr.” before my name, in those contexts in which a gendered title prior to one’s name is required.

That’s when I started laughing.

Life just seems really absurd to me. Maybe my own thoughts and behavior contribute to that absurdity, but still…the feeling is there. I react to this absurdity with humor and irony. Putting a “Mr.” before my name would just be too good of a joke to pass up, even though my desire to keep my chosen name is entirely serious, and has meaning to me.

Natalie might be a “woman’s name,” but I know of at least one man called that! Why should I be reverent to gender norms? I don’t want to modify myself to fit other people’s expectations. If that makes me selfish, so be it.

Trying to be normal just feels wrong.


Author: Miriam Afloat

Floating on a sea of bitterness.

7 thoughts on “Mister Natalie”

  1. You could drop the e and change it to Natali and tell everybody you were named after your grandfather who came from the old country

    1. I do like that spelling, actually, but some online searching shows it is regarded as an alternate spelling of Natalie, and still seen as a female name. Although I have been considering changing my name to a quirkier spelling sometime in the future when I have disposable income and the motovation.

      Also my “old country” is England and Ireland, both tribes came the the US while it was still a colony. So maybe great, great, great something or other 🙂

  2. “Some people think they’re always right
    Others are quiet and uptight
    Others they seem so very nice nice nice nice, oh
    Inside they might feel sad and wrong, oh no

    Twenty-nine different attributes
    Only seven that you like, oh
    Twenty ways to see the world, oh
    Twenty ways to start a fight, oh

    Oh don’t, don’t, don’t get up, I can’t see the sunshine
    I’ll be waiting for you, baby ’cause I’m through
    Sit me down, shut me up
    I’ll calm down and I’ll get along with you

    Oh, men don’t notice what they got
    Women think of that a lot
    One thousand ways to please your man, oh
    Not even one requires a plan, I know

    Countless odd religions too
    It doesn’t matter which you choose, oh no
    One stubborn way to turn your back, oh
    This I’ve tried and now refuse, oh

    Oh don’t, don’t, don’t get up, I can’t see the sunshine
    Oh, I’ll be waiting for you, baby ’cause I’m through
    Sit me down, shut me up
    I’ll calm down and I’ll get along with you, alright

    Shut me up, shut me up up up up up
    And I’ll get along with you”

    1. Thanks, would be interested in a link to Jack’s blog if possible!

      I fully expect this to be confusing to people. Men are supposed to be masculine, women feminine. If a man is feminine, society is happier when they either suppress themselves, or transition as a transwoman. Men who are often mistaken for women are committing gender treason by refusing to relinquish the fact of their maleness (btw, this doesn’t apply to self-identified transwomen or “transsexuals” who declare themselves male online but still enter women’s spaces).

      You’re right, I don’t identify as anything either, at least not in the sense of “I am because I believe I am,” but rather in the sense of identification from a scientific perspective of “does the criteria fit the definition” type of deal. I fit the criteria for male. I don’t identify as such.

      Which is why I call myself a man. As a side note, I don’t see myself as either trans or cis, because I’m opting out of the “identity as personal conviction” game.

      1. I’ll have a look in the morning and get you the details. They’re on twitter and have been on Question Time a few times if that helps. I’m trying to respect their gender pronouns here but it is incredibly difficult to avoid using he / she etc without really stopping to think about it.

        1. Wonderful, thanks again 🙂
          They as a singular neuter pronoun can take some getting used to. One practice I like to implement in my daily life is when introducing third parties/strangers, I more frequently use “they” versus “he/she” in order to deliberately leave the sex of the subject ambiguous, so as to prevent gendered pre-judgement.

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